Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk_7ExOhSS0

I was listening to this song last night, and it gave me an idea for a story excerpt. Talking with Joe tonight gave me another one, so I'll make those soon.

But now to the real reason for this post. (Incoherent as usual.)

1

Today I went to my sister's house with my mother. She needed to pick up some clothes of my niece, Nevaeh, and I was going to walk/feed my dog, Copper. The first thing we noticed when we got closer to the house was that there were bottles littered around her front lawn. She accused the neighbors directly to my sister's right for being the cause of the mess. Apparently they don't "bag their garbage," or something. For the short time she spoke of the, she just had to throw in the fact that they were "Mexican." I italicize this word because that's how she put it, and how everyone else seems to put it. A person's characteristics always seem to become some sort of disgusting adjective.

They always seem to throw in their nationality (or the color of their skin, etc.). It's always "that black man" and not "that man." I can understand why people would do it. I mean, we even do it for when someone is fat, old, or tall. But it just feels wrong when it comes to the topic of race.

I suppose this got me thinking about racism, and how I don't fully understand why people choose or don't choose to be. There are pretty much two types of racists. You're either the kind that flat out hates someone because of their race and may or may not let others know it, or you're the kind that just acts differently towards someone of another race than you would your own. If you're "Type B," which I believe my mother is, you don't hate the other race, or think of yourself as a racist, but you still allow stereotypes to shape your mindset.

I'm not going to lie. I'm probably a Type B as well. I've never found myself hating someone of another race, but I'm sure I've discrimated in the past. I suppose it's hard not to, when you're fed so many things through the media. I'll always remind myself of what they want me to think, and I'll immediately repress it. They tell you that the black man probably has a gun, and that he's here to rob the store, and you can't help but think of how ironic it would be if he did.

2

Before leaving, my mother noticed the neighbor's rottweiler outside of our yard. A conversation kind of like this occured immediately afterwards.

"I'm going to go over there and have a talk with them about that rottweiler. There is no way I'm going to let my grandchildren be harmed."
"I don't think it's a rottweilder, Mom." I stood up to check, and it looked like a mix between a rottweiler and something else (probably a black lab).
"Oh, it is. Breeann said it was."
"Yeah, I guess it is. I'm sure it's fine, though. They have kids of their own."

The conversation ended there, but I know I hadn't gotten through to her. Thankfully, before we left, they went inside their home. (I didn't want to have to listen to my mother bitch.) As we left, she drove by their house slowly while looking into their windows. Sigh.

I feel really bad for my mother. She shouldn't have to live afraid and angry like this. No one should.

Time to Fanboy?

Sigur Rós has their new album that comes out the 23rd of June streaming on their website.
http://www.sigurros.com/main/streaming.asp
It's pretty much amazing.

Not Emo

Hayley Hoover makes amazing cookies. Fact.

Yikes

No post since the 4th? *gasp!*

Update on my "story":
Things aren't coming far. I can't get myself to just sit down and write it, which sucks. I figure I'll just get to work on it when I'm done with school on the 23rd.

Random thoughts with no direction:

I feel really numb for some reason. I don't really get it, really. All of it. I want people to talk to, but it's fucking 10 P.M. and I don't really have anyone to talk to. I think I'm going to talk to my dad for a while when he gets home tonight.

Test Question

This question was in my AP Psychology test. I almost died of laughter when I read it.

"Edgar lives in a town by a forest where people commonly go to get wood. Although Edgar is often tempted to take as much wood as he'd like, he only takes what he needs so that there is enough for everyone."

LOL!

How Badass I Am:

Philosophy Essay Question:

Q: What are your thoughts regarding Sartre's ideas? Do you agree with his theory regarding free-will? Explain.

A: I’m as indifferent while discussing “free-will” as I am while discussing metaphysics. They are unimportant to me. What is, is. It doesn't matter what I think about it.

A Rant on Religion

This is kind of a response to Joe's post. It'll be random and probably incoherent, not to mention it may have nothing to do with Joe's post in the first place, but I like discussing philosophy. It's always fun.

I'm currently in a philosophy class, and there is one thing I've realized. It's that I hate talking about metaphysics ("What truly exists?), whether or not human beings have free will, etc. To me, these questions seem redundant. What's it matter what really is real? Who cares if we have free will or not? I sure don't. I can understand the importance of these questions and why they're asked, but come on now. Why start so many arguments based around it?

I'm living now and I don't want to be bothered by such questions. We assume that you only live once, so I say fuck it. I'm going to live without caring.

However, I love talking about religion (and I suppose spirituality? If that goes along with it, that is). I have yet to find a religion or a label to define what I believe in, but it doesn't bother me that I don't. Here is kind of a list about what I think:

I) "God or no God?" I believe in a God. There are pretty much two groups of people-- those who believe in one and those who don't. Let's not even be bothered about the Pastafarians. *sigh*
I find it kind of silly to think we were all one giant accident. It makes more sense to me that there would be a creator.

II) "Why are we here?" I think God just sort of set up the world and is letting us go at it-- as if we're one big experiment. I think he just sort of set up the building blocks (ya know, genetics and stuff) and maybe he's watching over us, intrigued. I sure would be.

III) "Why aren't you a Christian?" I hate to sound like a sxephil episode, but the Bible contradicts itself. I'm sorry, but I could never follow something that says that homosexuals should be stoned, yet later on promotes loving everyone and all that jazz. And don't you dare tell me to look past the Old Testament-- it's still part of the Bible.

I always hated going to Sunday School when I was a child. My parents would make me dress up all nicely (I fucking hated the socks and shoes I had to wear) and I'd play the role of a good Christian son. I was a Christian back then, but all children are ignorant. (They have my three-year-old nephew praying at dinner. I mean, come on. He doesn't even know what the fuck he's doing.) The only good memories I have of my childhood church goings were of me drawing Star Wars battles on the little sheets of paper we got, and falling asleep while my mom would tickle my arm (it still relaxes me to this day). Life was good.

When I moved to Arizona, that's probably when things began to get bad. We moved into a church that was really upbeat and if I were still a Christian, I'd love to be there every Sunday morning. However, I was a "wild child" there and Arizona isn't where my happy years of life lie. I didn't really want to be friends with anyone there, so I pushed away from religion. Another thing is that some very choice words were said by my pastors there. Things like "9/11 was a reminder to all of us" would make me look up with a face that probably screamed of disgust. The murmur of agreement probably added to said disgust look. How the fuck can you say that 9/11 was God's doing? Like if he thought it would be a great idea to remind everyone to pray some more by crashing planes into buildings.

I vaguely remember praying for something in Arizona, I don't remember what it was-- probably friends or something of that nature (lulz), and it was never answered. This probably also added to the problem.

But yes, organized religion is a big "No thanks" for me.

IV) "Thoughts on the afterlife?" I believe in a version of Heaven. However, I don't really believe in a Hell. I've read enough in psychology about all those serial killers with an antisocial personality disorder, etc, to believe that some people can't really help who they are. They may be able to control themselves and not do what they do. I'm not sure, I'm no Psychologist.

Another thing to look at: There are situations where areas of the brain are damaged or a certain area may be taken out or affected. In some of these situations, people's whole temperaments are changed. How can God decide if you're going to Heaven or Hell if you can't help what your thoughts were on Earth? It doesn't make any sense to me.

Another point: People always say, "God has created you and made you unique." etc. If this is true, why-- with a Christian look on why people go to Heaven or Hell-- would he create people like Jeffrey Dahmer and others who go around killing many people? Wouldn't this sort of mean that some are predestined to go to Hell? Why would he create some people so they could spend eternity in "torment" ?

I just hope there is an afterlife where everyone can go. Maybe everything will be explained to us when we get there.



Hoped you enjoyed reading all of that. It was longer than I expected it to be (twss). Um, the next couple blogs will probably have to do with a writing "exercise" I'm going to start this weekend. In Stephen King's On Writing he asks people to take a stab at writing without any sort of plot outlines (he discusses that this is how he writes most of his novels, which I find fascinating). [/me points at his 1,000 page long edition of The Stand and is bewildered.] He gives a scenario and then asks for six pages to be written, so I'm going to try it out. I figure I'll post a couple pages per day. Wish me luck. =)