Couldn't really think of a title for this, so "Untitled 1" it is! This post will mainly be an update and a rant. . . So let's go!
Orientation
I had college orientation at NDSU on the 10th. It . . . didn't go so well. For one thing, I felt an extremely negative fibe while I was there. I mean, the people running it were cheerful and all that, but it just felt wrong to be there. I ended up spending the whole day there, and I only really felt these feelings at the very start and at the very end.
Only the car ride home, I talked to my dad about college. I told him about my negative feelings, and I asked him what he'd think if I didn't go to college, or if I "packed my things and just left."
Well, he was a lot more "accepting" of it than I thought he would be. He tried to comfort me with the whole "you're a lot like I was" routine, but I could tell that his past self was nothing similar to my current self.
To tell the truth, I've never really been into the idea of going to college. I'm a smart kid, but it's always been kind of a thing where I've thought about not going more than actually going. I wouldn't mind not having an actual "career" my whole life. I mean, there are some things that I would love to do, but let's face it. Some of those I won't ever achieve. Writing? HA! That's a laugh. I wish I was good at writing-- but I don't think that I am. I do, however, think that I have good ideas. I just can't write them down and make an actual story out of it, ya know?
Psychology was really my thing until a couple months ago. My interest in that field is still there, but I just don't feel the urge to be a psychologist like I used to. I have the same mindset about psychology as I do other professions. There are things I'd be okay with being, and that I sometimes want to be, but I just don't have the drive to be them.
Maybe that's my problem. I don't have any drive.
Anyways, after orientation I talked to Joe, who helped me out a lot in deciding. H reminded me that I didn't have to always stay there, and that I might as well try out one year. So yeah, that's what I'm going to do now. I'm going to give it a shot for a year. Hopefully I'll enjoy the environment and my classes, etc.
If things go wrong and I don't fully enjoy them, I might do something along the lines of this:
A) End up spending every year in the Study Abroad program so I can see the world. I've always wanted to, and I don't think college would bother me so much if I were in another country, experiencing new things.
B) Just leaving. I don't know where I'd go, but I might just get up and go somewhere. I've always thought Iceland was a beautiful country, and that it would be fun to visit. Maybe I'll just move there for a while. I was looking at one of their colleges through the Study Abroad website thingy on the NDSU site, and it reminded me of how much I wanted to visit there. You can take free online classes for Icelandic, which I'm going to start soon.
And this is the end of my blog . . .
I always feel like no one will be able to understand my posts, because they always seem jumbled. Lulz, Joe.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk_7ExOhSS0
I was listening to this song last night, and it gave me an idea for a story excerpt. Talking with Joe tonight gave me another one, so I'll make those soon.
But now to the real reason for this post. (Incoherent as usual.)
1
Today I went to my sister's house with my mother. She needed to pick up some clothes of my niece, Nevaeh, and I was going to walk/feed my dog, Copper. The first thing we noticed when we got closer to the house was that there were bottles littered around her front lawn. She accused the neighbors directly to my sister's right for being the cause of the mess. Apparently they don't "bag their garbage," or something. For the short time she spoke of the, she just had to throw in the fact that they were "Mexican." I italicize this word because that's how she put it, and how everyone else seems to put it. A person's characteristics always seem to become some sort of disgusting adjective.
They always seem to throw in their nationality (or the color of their skin, etc.). It's always "that black man" and not "that man." I can understand why people would do it. I mean, we even do it for when someone is fat, old, or tall. But it just feels wrong when it comes to the topic of race.
I suppose this got me thinking about racism, and how I don't fully understand why people choose or don't choose to be. There are pretty much two types of racists. You're either the kind that flat out hates someone because of their race and may or may not let others know it, or you're the kind that just acts differently towards someone of another race than you would your own. If you're "Type B," which I believe my mother is, you don't hate the other race, or think of yourself as a racist, but you still allow stereotypes to shape your mindset.
I'm not going to lie. I'm probably a Type B as well. I've never found myself hating someone of another race, but I'm sure I've discrimated in the past. I suppose it's hard not to, when you're fed so many things through the media. I'll always remind myself of what they want me to think, and I'll immediately repress it. They tell you that the black man probably has a gun, and that he's here to rob the store, and you can't help but think of how ironic it would be if he did.
2
Before leaving, my mother noticed the neighbor's rottweiler outside of our yard. A conversation kind of like this occured immediately afterwards.
"I'm going to go over there and have a talk with them about that rottweiler. There is no way I'm going to let my grandchildren be harmed."
"I don't think it's a rottweilder, Mom." I stood up to check, and it looked like a mix between a rottweiler and something else (probably a black lab).
"Oh, it is. Breeann said it was."
"Yeah, I guess it is. I'm sure it's fine, though. They have kids of their own."
The conversation ended there, but I know I hadn't gotten through to her. Thankfully, before we left, they went inside their home. (I didn't want to have to listen to my mother bitch.) As we left, she drove by their house slowly while looking into their windows. Sigh.
I feel really bad for my mother. She shouldn't have to live afraid and angry like this. No one should.
I was listening to this song last night, and it gave me an idea for a story excerpt. Talking with Joe tonight gave me another one, so I'll make those soon.
But now to the real reason for this post. (Incoherent as usual.)
1
Today I went to my sister's house with my mother. She needed to pick up some clothes of my niece, Nevaeh, and I was going to walk/feed my dog, Copper. The first thing we noticed when we got closer to the house was that there were bottles littered around her front lawn. She accused the neighbors directly to my sister's right for being the cause of the mess. Apparently they don't "bag their garbage," or something. For the short time she spoke of the, she just had to throw in the fact that they were "Mexican." I italicize this word because that's how she put it, and how everyone else seems to put it. A person's characteristics always seem to become some sort of disgusting adjective.
They always seem to throw in their nationality (or the color of their skin, etc.). It's always "that black man" and not "that man." I can understand why people would do it. I mean, we even do it for when someone is fat, old, or tall. But it just feels wrong when it comes to the topic of race.
I suppose this got me thinking about racism, and how I don't fully understand why people choose or don't choose to be. There are pretty much two types of racists. You're either the kind that flat out hates someone because of their race and may or may not let others know it, or you're the kind that just acts differently towards someone of another race than you would your own. If you're "Type B," which I believe my mother is, you don't hate the other race, or think of yourself as a racist, but you still allow stereotypes to shape your mindset.
I'm not going to lie. I'm probably a Type B as well. I've never found myself hating someone of another race, but I'm sure I've discrimated in the past. I suppose it's hard not to, when you're fed so many things through the media. I'll always remind myself of what they want me to think, and I'll immediately repress it. They tell you that the black man probably has a gun, and that he's here to rob the store, and you can't help but think of how ironic it would be if he did.
2
Before leaving, my mother noticed the neighbor's rottweiler outside of our yard. A conversation kind of like this occured immediately afterwards.
"I'm going to go over there and have a talk with them about that rottweiler. There is no way I'm going to let my grandchildren be harmed."
"I don't think it's a rottweilder, Mom." I stood up to check, and it looked like a mix between a rottweiler and something else (probably a black lab).
"Oh, it is. Breeann said it was."
"Yeah, I guess it is. I'm sure it's fine, though. They have kids of their own."
The conversation ended there, but I know I hadn't gotten through to her. Thankfully, before we left, they went inside their home. (I didn't want to have to listen to my mother bitch.) As we left, she drove by their house slowly while looking into their windows. Sigh.
I feel really bad for my mother. She shouldn't have to live afraid and angry like this. No one should.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Time to Fanboy?
Sigur Rós has their new album that comes out the 23rd of June streaming on their website.
http://www.sigurros.com/main/streaming.asp
It's pretty much amazing.
http://www.sigurros.com/main/streaming.asp
It's pretty much amazing.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Yikes
No post since the 4th? *gasp!*
Update on my "story":
Things aren't coming far. I can't get myself to just sit down and write it, which sucks. I figure I'll just get to work on it when I'm done with school on the 23rd.
Random thoughts with no direction:
I feel really numb for some reason. I don't really get it, really. All of it. I want people to talk to, but it's fucking 10 P.M. and I don't really have anyone to talk to. I think I'm going to talk to my dad for a while when he gets home tonight.
Update on my "story":
Things aren't coming far. I can't get myself to just sit down and write it, which sucks. I figure I'll just get to work on it when I'm done with school on the 23rd.
Random thoughts with no direction:
I feel really numb for some reason. I don't really get it, really. All of it. I want people to talk to, but it's fucking 10 P.M. and I don't really have anyone to talk to. I think I'm going to talk to my dad for a while when he gets home tonight.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Test Question
This question was in my AP Psychology test. I almost died of laughter when I read it.
"Edgar lives in a town by a forest where people commonly go to get wood. Although Edgar is often tempted to take as much wood as he'd like, he only takes what he needs so that there is enough for everyone."
LOL!
"Edgar lives in a town by a forest where people commonly go to get wood. Although Edgar is often tempted to take as much wood as he'd like, he only takes what he needs so that there is enough for everyone."
LOL!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
How Badass I Am:
Philosophy Essay Question:
Q: What are your thoughts regarding Sartre's ideas? Do you agree with his theory regarding free-will? Explain.
A: I’m as indifferent while discussing “free-will” as I am while discussing metaphysics. They are unimportant to me. What is, is. It doesn't matter what I think about it.
Q: What are your thoughts regarding Sartre's ideas? Do you agree with his theory regarding free-will? Explain.
A: I’m as indifferent while discussing “free-will” as I am while discussing metaphysics. They are unimportant to me. What is, is. It doesn't matter what I think about it.
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